Journal Entry:
Sun Nov 11, 2012, 5:57 PM
1- A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.
2- You can't hum while holding your nose closed (I know you're trying this by the way)
3- Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world a duck is watching you.
4- Girls, all non henna based hair colour cause thinning of your hair (even worse, a combination of hair colour and using a hot dryer/iron will reduce the thickness by %50 over a 12 month period).
5- Guys, spitting on the sidewalk or anywhere else is gross and not a turn on for the ladeez. Trust me on this.
6- More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
7- In the state of Kentucky it is against the law to carry an ice cream in your back pocket.
8- The Koala bear is not really a bear, but is really related to the kangaroo and the wombat.
9- The abbreviation Xmas for the word Christmas is of Greek origin. Since the word for Christ in the Greek language is Xristos, which starts with the letter "X," they started putting the X in place of Christ and came up with the short form for the word Christmas.
10- Even if you have a nice bum, most people don't want to see your cheeks hanging out while you're walking down the street. When buying short shorts, get a trusted friend to look from behind prior to purchase to see if your butt cheeks are hanging out. If they are...just don't...please...just don't....
I'm on to you, duckie!!!
*No response*
Ah well, I told you not to look.
*Walks away munching on sweet potato chips*
THEYRE EVERYWHERE.
GOD HELP ME.